“Ghosting”, according to UrbanDictionary.com is, “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.” And we add, most importantly, “with no explanation”.
It’s probably safe to say we’ve all been involved with this immature phenomenon at least once in our lives. It’s certainly not limited to any one gender, but it is a particularly common issue among the younger generations. With
Whether you’ve been a victim or a
It’s incredibly hurtful.
So the date went terrible or perhaps you’ve hung out with the guy or gal a few times and it’s just not clicking the way you want it to. Maybe they’re just not your type after all. No problem, it happens. You may think in this instance, the easiest way to let them down is to stop replying to their texts, calls, DMs, snaps, etc. What you may not realize (especially if it hasn’t happened to you), is that this is an incredibly hurtful way to end contact with someone. If you have been “ghosted” before, you know that the sheer wonder and confusion of why this person you like is no longer responding to you or initiating contact is painful and bewildering. If you’ve ever found yourself in this situation, you may have even begun to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me? or “What did I do wrong to make he/she stop talking to me?” The answer is nothing. It’s natural and normal for two people to not be a perfect match, but “ghosting” is not a kind way to let someone down, it’s just the opposite.
It demonstrates a lack of maturity.
If you’ve ever been “ghosted” before with zero explanation, try not to feel bad. As said above, it is not your fault. “Ghosting” is an incredibly immature behavior and is demonstrated by those who specifically lack emotional maturity. These are people who are not only selfish, but simply not capable of thinking of others’ emotions and feelings ahead of their own. This may not be someone you’d want to be in a relationship with anyway. They have a LOT of growing up to do. You dodged a bullet.
Hand in hand with immaturity, people who “ghost” are generally doing so out of selfishness. They’ll “ghost” someone whom they were talking to simply because it benefits them. They don’t have to deal with consequences because there are no in-person explanations. They can selfishly pretend the person doesn’t exist and that that will do away with the situation. We get that not everyone can
It hinders your communication skills.
If you’ve made the not-so-great decision of “ghosting” someone in the past, you better believe they’re not the only one getting shafted. You’re also hindering your own communication skills and setting yourself up for future relationship issues, which we discuss more below. Aside from relationship-related issues, “ghosting” behavior just isn’t a helpful communication method to rely on. Very rarely in life can we just up and say “peace out!” (or rather nothing at all) without consequences. Life doesn’t work that way and more often than not, we have to deal with situations we don’t like nor want to be a part of in our work, home
It sets you up for future relationship issues.
No one likes a bad communicator and not being able to tell a partner how you feel (whether it’s good, bad or ugly) will most definitely hurt your future relationships. Picture this situation: you’re finally dating someone you’re overall happy with, but of course, there are some issues like in any relationship. You may not necessarily be so quick to “ghost” (thankfully) because you’re more invested, but that spooky “ghosting” behavior can creep back in and you may find yourself communicating ineffectively again, ie. bottling up your emotions when you’re unhappy and say nothing at all, or avoiding a discussion when something is bothering your partner, both of which will undoubtedly hurt your relationship. Do yourself a favor and set the tone for your future relationships by making a better habit to not “ghost” when things aren’t going right. Trust us now and you’ll thank us later.